Congrats on your third-to-last tax deadline, Gayla! You're almost there!
Reading your reflections about friendship after reading this book reminded me of a time in college when I came home (to my three male roommates, who I lived with for years), drunk and sobbing, because I "would never have friends like on Sex in the City." (This is so ludicrous I'm laughing while I'm typing this, but that's definitely how sad I felt at the time.) Female friendships can be complicated, and they change at different stages of life for a huge variety of reasons. I think it's wonderful that you realized you want to make friendships a priority *before* you've retired -- you have time to work on it, you know?
I think I have been listening to News via NPR and their affiliates for most of my life. We now have a book we have both read! I thought the book refreshing because it was not about politics yet Nina and Ruth would seem the perfect candidates for a political book. For me, thinking of the country as nearly 250 years old, it seems RBG arrived at a time and litigated cases that FINALLY stopped excluding women from some semblance of equality. It seems clear the current Court might continue to retrench from that. RBG recognized the slow pace of the law and the building of precedence. This takes generations. The fact that regardless of the long-term legacy, we do seem to have a Court willing to knock down and reverse those precedents likely means a VERY LONG path to start again. I fear that we FINALLY have a generation of Americans that having lived with some equality of rights, they will be UNWILLING to patiently wait for a group of old people in robes to inform them about what they think the Founders thought of their rights and hence limit them into the future. It seems inconceivable to me that my children and their partners will accept all of the retrenchment without a fight. My lasting perspective of women like Nina and Ruth is they were born and raised in a world where even having a bank account in their own name was not straightforward (like my Mom). I hope this time around there are at least some men who will say finally enough is enough and abandon their allegiance to control. I fear it will be up to women to assume they must resist alone.
I have found after retiring from my IT career and starting a new chapter of mostly solo work, that I am craving more friendship. This is in part because I lack real world writer friends. And because of, Covid, I have not kept up with more work friends from before. I get it.
I've listened to Nina on the radio for years and, of course, followed story after story about RBG but I never knew they were close friends and I didn't know about this book. Thank you for that.
I think constantly about friendship. I have written about it but only scratched the surface in terms of understanding all the forms it can take. As Sarah says in her comment, female friendships can change at different stages of life. Back in early 2016, four different women from different and important stages of my life came to see me. It was a fluke, but it woke up parts of me that were dormant or gone underground. After the last one went home, I was left with a feeling of gratitude and longing. I am cheering you on in your decision to be open to friendship now and in the coming years. I will follow your lead.
I can appreciate your observation friendships and I hope you find more of them. I feel very fortunate that thanks to nomading, I have found more of those experiences in my fifties.
What a lovely post, Gayla. I suspect I would be in tears over that book,too.
Have you read, Let’s Take the Long Way Home: A memoir of friendship by Gail Caldwell? It’s also about a pair of brilliant women in mid-life, both writers, who meet because of their dogs. I loved it and I think you would, too.
Thanks for writing about two of my heroes and for recommending Nina Totenberg’s book. I’ve been listening to NPR and learning from Nina forever. No one is more knowledgeable and insightful about the Supreme Court--and I soaked up everything she had to say about her friendship with RBG. I’m not surprised that reading a memoir of a close and inspiring friendship between two such accomplished women at a pivotal point in your life would trigger some soul searching. I imagine it will do the same for me and many others as well. Thanks again for your honesty and insights.
I feel like I've been listening to NPR - and Nina - for a good part of my life. No matter where I live, I always find the local NPR channel, plus NPR on my SiriusXM and now on the app every morning. It's just a part of my routine. Whenever I hear Nina's name, after I think of the Supreme Court, I think of how NPR gives away "Nine Totenbags" (tote bags) during their fundraising. ;-)
This is in my TBR pile, which I can't seem to keep up with. I'll definitely bump it up to the top. I dearly loved and admired RBG. At 50, I don't have the close female friendships I'd like to have, so I think that will probably make me love this more, as well as cry. I suspect I'll cry. Thanks for the great review!
Congrats on your third-to-last tax deadline, Gayla! You're almost there!
Reading your reflections about friendship after reading this book reminded me of a time in college when I came home (to my three male roommates, who I lived with for years), drunk and sobbing, because I "would never have friends like on Sex in the City." (This is so ludicrous I'm laughing while I'm typing this, but that's definitely how sad I felt at the time.) Female friendships can be complicated, and they change at different stages of life for a huge variety of reasons. I think it's wonderful that you realized you want to make friendships a priority *before* you've retired -- you have time to work on it, you know?
Thanks Gayla. Here's my review for NPR of Nina Totenberg's book: https://www.npr.org/2022/09/12/1119901363/nina-totenberg-ruth-bader-ginsburg-dinners-with-ruth
I loved the link to the libraries. The London calling library was my favorite. Thanks for sharing!
I think I have been listening to News via NPR and their affiliates for most of my life. We now have a book we have both read! I thought the book refreshing because it was not about politics yet Nina and Ruth would seem the perfect candidates for a political book. For me, thinking of the country as nearly 250 years old, it seems RBG arrived at a time and litigated cases that FINALLY stopped excluding women from some semblance of equality. It seems clear the current Court might continue to retrench from that. RBG recognized the slow pace of the law and the building of precedence. This takes generations. The fact that regardless of the long-term legacy, we do seem to have a Court willing to knock down and reverse those precedents likely means a VERY LONG path to start again. I fear that we FINALLY have a generation of Americans that having lived with some equality of rights, they will be UNWILLING to patiently wait for a group of old people in robes to inform them about what they think the Founders thought of their rights and hence limit them into the future. It seems inconceivable to me that my children and their partners will accept all of the retrenchment without a fight. My lasting perspective of women like Nina and Ruth is they were born and raised in a world where even having a bank account in their own name was not straightforward (like my Mom). I hope this time around there are at least some men who will say finally enough is enough and abandon their allegiance to control. I fear it will be up to women to assume they must resist alone.
Oooh, this one is next on my reading list. Thanks for the rec on Dinners with Ruth!
I have found after retiring from my IT career and starting a new chapter of mostly solo work, that I am craving more friendship. This is in part because I lack real world writer friends. And because of, Covid, I have not kept up with more work friends from before. I get it.
I've listened to Nina on the radio for years and, of course, followed story after story about RBG but I never knew they were close friends and I didn't know about this book. Thank you for that.
I think constantly about friendship. I have written about it but only scratched the surface in terms of understanding all the forms it can take. As Sarah says in her comment, female friendships can change at different stages of life. Back in early 2016, four different women from different and important stages of my life came to see me. It was a fluke, but it woke up parts of me that were dormant or gone underground. After the last one went home, I was left with a feeling of gratitude and longing. I am cheering you on in your decision to be open to friendship now and in the coming years. I will follow your lead.
I can appreciate your observation friendships and I hope you find more of them. I feel very fortunate that thanks to nomading, I have found more of those experiences in my fifties.
What a lovely post, Gayla. I suspect I would be in tears over that book,too.
Have you read, Let’s Take the Long Way Home: A memoir of friendship by Gail Caldwell? It’s also about a pair of brilliant women in mid-life, both writers, who meet because of their dogs. I loved it and I think you would, too.
Thanks for writing about two of my heroes and for recommending Nina Totenberg’s book. I’ve been listening to NPR and learning from Nina forever. No one is more knowledgeable and insightful about the Supreme Court--and I soaked up everything she had to say about her friendship with RBG. I’m not surprised that reading a memoir of a close and inspiring friendship between two such accomplished women at a pivotal point in your life would trigger some soul searching. I imagine it will do the same for me and many others as well. Thanks again for your honesty and insights.
I feel like I've been listening to NPR - and Nina - for a good part of my life. No matter where I live, I always find the local NPR channel, plus NPR on my SiriusXM and now on the app every morning. It's just a part of my routine. Whenever I hear Nina's name, after I think of the Supreme Court, I think of how NPR gives away "Nine Totenbags" (tote bags) during their fundraising. ;-)
This is in my TBR pile, which I can't seem to keep up with. I'll definitely bump it up to the top. I dearly loved and admired RBG. At 50, I don't have the close female friendships I'd like to have, so I think that will probably make me love this more, as well as cry. I suspect I'll cry. Thanks for the great review!
Well shoot, that book riot article just rocked my world. You’ve given me a lot to think about, Gayla!