Oh my goodness, Gayla! Thank you so much for the mention here. Funny enough I will be on Danielle's podcast later this summer. It's like when your fave tv characters used to have crossover eps in the 80s and 90s. I always loved that!
Yes, Amy's story is so heartbreaking. I've followed it closely. She's done so much to help people understand life as a transplant patient. And her story of friendship in her memoir was so moving.
Thanks so much Gayla. I didn't realize how truly important really good, close friends were until I lost some friends, surprisingly I guess for reasons I don't really understand. One told me, quietly and politely, as I was leaving her city after having lived there for a few months for work--we had known each other in a different city earlier-- "Um, after today, don't contact me. It's not you, it's me." I blamed myself but wasn't sure what I'd done. I felt I could not ask why, and there was little time left to do that since she was on her way to work and my family and I were on a tight schedule, and not expecting this. Couldn't locate her later either, to say "I'm sorry for whatever I did," which I didn't think of at the time we left. Another friend just stopped contacting me or wanting to meet any longer--no reason given, and I felt it would be too invasive to ask why. That was painful, but thank heaven, I've since met several wonderful new friends, and several others gradually becoming friends. And of course I now know how terrible it feels to lose them. Another thought: Americans seem too isolated by our lifestyles, even outside of the pandemic, and in my wellbeing research I constantly see how important scientists now know friendships are to all of us. We all need each other, in fact, even if we aren't close friends. I take time now to appreciate each new person I meet, and hope they can feel it. Now it means everything to me.
Thanks so much Gayla. I'm sorry that happened to you. It reminded me of yet another friend, and in this case the problem was quite similar to yours. She had given me reasons not to trust her way back in college. After a long time, when I was visiting a place near where she now lives, I thought I should try to reconnect. I was going to try to meet her next time we went there, but got a letter from her about other people from college that was very shallow and unkind toward them. I knew this was not a good fit for me in a friend, and had to make an excuse and back off. It IS helpful to know other people go through this, so thank you for telling that story.
Thank you for sharing this, Gayla! Sounds so good--tears and all!
A great reminder of the importance of friend circles.
Oh my goodness, Gayla! Thank you so much for the mention here. Funny enough I will be on Danielle's podcast later this summer. It's like when your fave tv characters used to have crossover eps in the 80s and 90s. I always loved that!
Yes, Amy's story is so heartbreaking. I've followed it closely. She's done so much to help people understand life as a transplant patient. And her story of friendship in her memoir was so moving.
I hope the Life Council book has a category for blogging/sub stack friendships! Lol
I love your deep interest in friendship and am very happy to know about these podcasts and newsletters. It's a subject that is timeless abd essential.
Thanks so much Gayla. I didn't realize how truly important really good, close friends were until I lost some friends, surprisingly I guess for reasons I don't really understand. One told me, quietly and politely, as I was leaving her city after having lived there for a few months for work--we had known each other in a different city earlier-- "Um, after today, don't contact me. It's not you, it's me." I blamed myself but wasn't sure what I'd done. I felt I could not ask why, and there was little time left to do that since she was on her way to work and my family and I were on a tight schedule, and not expecting this. Couldn't locate her later either, to say "I'm sorry for whatever I did," which I didn't think of at the time we left. Another friend just stopped contacting me or wanting to meet any longer--no reason given, and I felt it would be too invasive to ask why. That was painful, but thank heaven, I've since met several wonderful new friends, and several others gradually becoming friends. And of course I now know how terrible it feels to lose them. Another thought: Americans seem too isolated by our lifestyles, even outside of the pandemic, and in my wellbeing research I constantly see how important scientists now know friendships are to all of us. We all need each other, in fact, even if we aren't close friends. I take time now to appreciate each new person I meet, and hope they can feel it. Now it means everything to me.
Thanks so much Gayla. I'm sorry that happened to you. It reminded me of yet another friend, and in this case the problem was quite similar to yours. She had given me reasons not to trust her way back in college. After a long time, when I was visiting a place near where she now lives, I thought I should try to reconnect. I was going to try to meet her next time we went there, but got a letter from her about other people from college that was very shallow and unkind toward them. I knew this was not a good fit for me in a friend, and had to make an excuse and back off. It IS helpful to know other people go through this, so thank you for telling that story.